In case you're ever in Texas
Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 6:49 pm
I just thought I'd give everyone a little run-down of some Texas terminology in case you ever come to visit me and need medical attention at some point. Here are some common terms:
Benign - What you be after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan - Searching for Kitty
Cauterize - Make eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
D&C - Where Washington is
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
G.I.Series - World series of military baseball
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor Pains - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer than I did
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumor - More than one
Urine - Opposite of you're out
Varicose - Near by/close by
Benign - What you be after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan - Searching for Kitty
Cauterize - Make eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
D&C - Where Washington is
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
G.I.Series - World series of military baseball
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor Pains - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer than I did
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumor - More than one
Urine - Opposite of you're out
Varicose - Near by/close by